My Own Kind of Beautiful

Its been a successful week on the path to health and vitality. Here in Utah, I'm surrounded by gorgeous actors and artists who work for the Shakespeare Festival. They are an enlivening group whom I deeply admire. Most of the women and men who do this kind of work have to keep themselves looking great - they have to rest and eat well and exercise just to stay in the game, be cast and then grind out night after night of rehearsals and shows. Actors tend to be beautiful. It's the nature of the beast, I suppose.  But the thing I notice most is that their confidence and presence comes not from possessing beauty, but by embracing their own kind of beauty and turning that uniqueness into a commodity. This week, I'm inspired by this group of thespians who remind me to offer what I have to give. Claim what is mine and let that unique beauty be the guide, rather than some unattainable standard set by our society.

The quote below came to me via my husband.

I though I'd share it here.

"The only thing you have to offer another human being, ever, is your own state of being. You can cop out only just so long, saying, “I’ve got all this nice stuff, I know all this and I can do all this.” But everything you do, whether you’re cooking food or doing therapy or being a student or being a lover, you are only doing your own being, you’re only manifesting how evolved a consciousness you are. That’s what you’re doing with another human being. That’s the only dance there is! When you’re protesting against somebody, the degree of consciousness with which you’re protesting determines how well they can hear what it is you’re really saying. And consciousness does not mean attachment to polarity, at any level. It means freedom from attachment. And once you see that the highest mother is the mother who is the most conscious mother, the highest student, the highest therapist, the highest lover, the highest anything is the most conscious one, you begin to see that the way you serve another human being is by freeing him from the particular attachments he’s stuck in that turn him off to life. You realize that the only thing you have to do for other human beings is to keep yourself really straight, and then do whatever it is you do."

The "I Did It" List

juiced five out of seven days

attended a two hour yoga class

went jogging / cross training 4 out of seven days

enjoyed a date with my husband

took my family to Zion National Park and didn't lose my shit when Charlie threw a fit

slept in one morning until 9:30am (thank you Jack)

went to the grocery store and didn't by anything in a box, a can or a jar - just living stuff

Lift Off

The first few weeks of a shift in behavior can feel like a real slog. Getting out the door every other day (and sometimes every day) for a jog or 40 minutes of cross training takes fortitude when its preceded by a pattern of inactivity.  Hell, it takes fortitude even when you're in the groove.

But for me, there is always a day, a wonderful moment that I call "lift off", when your body and your brain finally align and what seemed like an unbearable slog the day before becomes easier. Notice, I didn't say easy.  It's never easy. It just gets a little bit easier.

The past two weeks of dragging my ass to the juicer and then lumbering out the door for a jog shifted today. I awoke, rested. I looked in the mirror and noticed that my skin tone was better. I met my husband in the kitchen and he said my waist looked slimmer, as did my face. (Compliments always help "lift off".) I drank my green juice, ate a banana, snuggled with my son and then went for a run. And today it wasn't shitty. It was nice. Ladies and gentlemen, we have lift off!

P.S.  Looking for an awesome healthy snack recipe?  

To make the fruit and nut bars below, click HERE.

The "I Did It" List

Last year, after every weigh in, I would create a small list of the things I did during the week to better my health, my mind or my life. I called it the "I Did It" list.  It was a wonderfully uplifting tool that I want to reinstate here. I will not be doing a weigh in every Monday, but rather an "I Did It" recap with details about my progress and maintenance.  So here it goes:

The "I Did It" List

juiced 5 out of 7 mornings

jogged and power walked 4 out of 7 mornings

did strength training 3 out of 7 days

ate lots of raw fruits and veggies in place of crappy snack food

planned ahead and packed raw snacks for outings

went to the local farmer's market for produce and diary

replaced all traditional carbs with sprouted wheat versions

drank fewer lattes

went to Zion National Park with my family

painted four new pieces for my shop

drank red wine

Something I can live with.

My fitness instructor, Mallory, gave me some good advice last week.  Whatever weight loss measures I take in the next four months, she urged me to make changes I can live with long term. When I began losing weight in June of 2011, I made small changes and slowly added more as my stamina and readiness increased. I didn't know what I could live with because I had never tried it.

I want to make a distinction here about what "I can live with" and what is "comfortable". Initially, getting healthy was not a comforting process. I had to fight my brain - a brain that was comfortable with overeating and inaction. It was hard work. But working outside of my comfort zone for something important was good and necessary. Was it sustainable? For a time, it was. But now I have to go slower because of where I'm at in the process.

The "comfortable" part of the weight loss process came later after I'd had a chance to learn what I was capable of and found a healthful rhythm that suited my lifestyle. But again, I had to be open to change moment to moment, day to day. When I operate at a strenuously high level of fitness and nutrition, I loose lots of weight (duh). But then I crash and burn and spend twice as long picking my tush off the floor.  Mallory always uses the same word to encourage and advise her clients.  Balance. Our lives, our bodies and even our brains are ever changing. "Something you can live with" will undoubtedly change as you do.  For me, choosing a weight-loss or weight-maintenance plan will always be a process of assessment and evaluation.  The goal is balance.

Back in the Saddle

I've finally landed in Utah!  Jack reports to the Shakespeare Festival for work this morning and the kids and I are getting the lay of the land in our awesome housing. This year, the wonderful company manager found us a real family house instead of the usual student housing.  I have a big kitchen and the home is just moments from canyon walking trails, a beautiful park and the down town theater.  I love it.

This past week, I closed my show in Fort Worth and began transitioning my diet to more whole and raw foods. Just doing that helped me shed two pounds.  Now that I'm here in Utah with six weeks of open space ahead of me, I'm ready to dig in and get back in shape.  Before leaving Dallas, I bought a new pair of running shoes because my old ones were shot!  This morning they took their maiden voyage: a cross-training style run / walk up the canyon.

Here's what I did.  I power walked several blocks to the base of the canyon at Highway 56 where I did a tabata style interval from Malory Dubuclet's work out book. Then I jogged up the canyon and back (only a mile to start because we're at serious elevation here and I'm not accustomed to it yet). Once I reached the base of the canyon again, I did a second tabata and walked the few blocks home.  It was short and sweet, but definitely a good start.

I've been dreading this first work out a bit because I have been so out of practice over the past four months. I haven't been able to attend my usual classes because of the show and Charlie's therapy and medical appointments, all of which were falling at the same time as my boot camp class. The thing that I quickly realized though, is that I'm not starting at zero.  Just because I'm out of practice doesn't mean I have to begin at the beginning.  I had a good strong fitness routine for over a year and then strayed for a few months.  Once I started moving, my body kicked in and my brain said, "Yes - I know how to do this!"  I may not be at the fitness level I was this fall, but I know what I'm doing and my body wants nothing more than to move, move, move.

When I got home, I made some green juice. I turned a big bowl of this... 

...into this.

The second glass of juice is for my husband Jack who is joining me in my diet shift.  He has been feeling a little "off" lately because of our lax eating standards these past few months.  We're both ready to lose a little and feel cleaner, brighter, healthier and lighter.

Eat More Plants - Plain and Simple

Today, I'm starting simple. Eat more plants. That's it. I started the morning with green juice and a banana. Then for lunch braised brussel sprouts, onions and garlic in an egg scramble. My goal for this week is to start every morning with green juice and fruit. As always - baby steps.

What's on your menu today?

Old Habits Die Hard

As I sit down to write this post I feel like a bad friend who said she would call and then didn't. And then when a week turned into two and then three, calling seemed silly and pointless. But I'm back, making that long awaited call. Hoping that you're still here.

I've spent the last three weeks in technical rehearsals for a show and then opening and running that show. All of my time has been spoken for. Even my family is wondering when I'll re-engage.  The show has been lots of fun and I'm SO thrilled to be acting again. But I'm also feeling totally out of my element - my routine shattered and old habits finding new footing. 

Confession time: I've gained back almost 30 pounds since the fall.  What?  30?  Yes.  30.  I worked my ass off and lost 75 and then gained 30 of it back.  You know what it feels like to lose 75 pounds in a big public way and then gain 30 back?  Kind of shitty.  

Luckily, I've got this blog.  I wrote down everything I did and now I'm going to retrace my steps and re-lose that weight.  Yep.  Welcome summer shred!  My show closes next week and I will once again be making the trip to Cedar City, Utah where my husband works every summer.  I began and ended my Smaller Sarah year in Utah and it seems the perfect place to pick up and start again.  

So here's the scoop: Starting on May 1st, I will be re-introducing a mostly raw diet. Once I'm in Utah, I'll also start running again. I would like to drop 40 pounds in 4 months.  That means 10 pounds a month with a final weigh-in on September 1st.  As I begin again, I am reminded of a post I wrote to a reader who emailed asking 'what do you do when you get discouraged?'  You can read it by clicking HERE. Here's another pick-me-up from September of 2012: click HERE. All of this just to say, I did it once... I can do it again!

source

In other news... 

I just found this amazing 3 minute ad that Dove posted on You Tube.  

I thought it was perfect to share here at Smaller Sarah.