Taking Time

Hello dear readers.  It's been a while since I've posted here.  Day by day, my life is still spinning further and further away from center and I've been wrestling with my body, my calendar and my kids. I've had an enormous surge of creative energy these past weeks and a simultaneous need to withdraw a bit from the interwebs.  September and October proved to be a time of huge transition for me personally and I still feel the ground shifting below me. And overall, my time away from the blog has been productive but also a time of quiet assessment.

I'm healthy and attending boot camp classes.  My schedule is about to change providing an opportunity to add a run class at Positively Fit to my week. I'm also planning a green juice fast beginning the second week in November.  I'll spend the next week increasing my intake of greens and diminishing my meat and carbs in an attempt to make the most of the fast.  I had lots of success with this same juice fast in the spring and hope to have similar results the second time around.

I guess the latest news is that last week, I left my house for four nights on a self imposed writing retreat.  I'm in the process of organizing and finishing a book that I've been working on for a little while. The retreat helped me secure some valuable time to compose my thoughts and accomplish some mental heavy lifting.  It is so difficult to have and maintain any kind of a long thought arch with two little ones clamoring for my attention at all hours of the day. If you'd like to read more about my time away, click HERE.

My goal for the next few weeks is to be kind to myself.  I've been burning the candle at both ends and while I'm very pleased with the direction things are heading, I'm also noticing the signs of burn out.  An over-extended, exhausted mama is a useless mama.  So, a little self love is definitely in order.

Texas State VEGGIE Fair

What?  There are vegetables in Texas? 

Yes.  There are.  And you can eat your fill at the Texas State Veggie Fair.

Where else can you consume a vegan funnel cake?
Click HERE for more details.

Weekly Check in

I've been a snacking fool this week.  I had pizza TWICE and ate a variety of salty crispy things.  I'm kind of on a roll here people.  Oye.  I need a little auto-speaker that sounds off when I come into the kitchen, "Step away from the pantry".

This week, I made it to Positively Fit three times.  And this week I'm excited to say my mother-in-law is in town, which means I can hit the gym all week.  I attended bootcamp yesterday and took my first strength and stability course this morning.  It was awesome, although my buns are burning tonight!

As far as the over-consumption of food goes, I really need to get it back in check. I know I was making some noise last month about a possible juice fast.  Maybe its time to revisit that idea.  I'd use it not as a weight loss tool, but as a cleanse to sort of re-set my system.  I need to look at everything I'm putting in my mouth and just ask simply, "Is it worth it?"

Inspiration Exists, But It Has to Find You Working

I've just finished my first week on my experimental schedule, which entails waking up at 4:30am and in bed by 9:30.  For the most part it is working really well - far better than I expected, in fact.  Last night I was out until 10:30 at a social gathering, so I feel a bit groggy today.  But generally, I'm very pleased with the week and my level of productivity.  I worked on my manuscript and finished two new paintings (which you can see HERE and HERE if you like.)

This morning, I'm off to my HIIT class at Positively Fit. I still take boot camp classes on Mondays and Wednesdays but due to Charlie's therapy schedule, I had to pick a different class on Fridays.  HIIT stands for High Intensity Interval Training and its only a 30 minute class.  I love it!

The Undy 5000

After a hiatus from running 5Ks (my last one was on July 15th) I've registered to run the Undy 5000 on October 27th!  Thank you to my reader, Lana, who alerted me to this awesome race to fight colon cancer.  The best part? Participants wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes. Sounds like a good time to me!  Anyone want to join me?

Register HERE.

Check In - Week 70

Hi.

How was your week?
(seriously, tell me about your week in the comment section below)

Mine was good.

I've been brainstorming about how to buy myself a little more time in my studio.  My usual pattern is to start a big project at night and then peter out in the wee hours with nothing really to show for it by morning.  Because of that, I'm getting poor sleep and my artistic output is happening when I'm at my most groggy.  After a full day of kids and appointments and meals and driving and school, day's end is not the time to bring my A-game.

So last night I was asleep by 9pm with an alarm clock set and ready.  By 4:45am, I was in my studio painting and writing. My plan for the week is to try out this new schedule.  Up and at 'em at 4:30am. Work in the studio until 7am. Then, have my day as usual.  But instead of staying up 'til all hours trying to eek out something creative, go to sleep by 9:30pm.

Wish me luck!

The "I Did It" List

attended two boot camp classes

spent some quality time with friends

stayed in my PJs all day on Sunday

watched my son, Charlie, have some amazing break through moments

5 loads of laundry

my bell pepper and broccoli plants are finally fruiting!

Want it? Go get it.

The title of this post is my motto for the remainder of 2012. What is it that I want?  Time.  I want some time to really give my creative work the attention it needs to be successful and fulfilling.  I'm still in the process of writing a manuscript and I'm also painting.  However, I feel like I have to steal time from my family to do my work.  I'm know a lot of stay (work) at home mamas feel this way.  After all, it's the topic of a gajillion news articles with inane headlines like, "You Can Have It All" or "Are you Mommy Enough?" or "Oprah's 6 Question Test will Reveal Your True Calling" or "How to Get Everything Done and Still Have Time for Sex". I mean let's be real, it's all bullshit.

Every woman (and man for that matter) has to decide what it is they want, what they're willing to sacrifice and how they're going to get it.  I'm still in the "what am I willing to sacrifice" stage.  I know what I want.  But there are only so many hours in a day. I have to give up something to move forward in the direction of my dreams. So I'm making a game plan.  As my father always says, "more news at eleven."

Paintings for Positively Fit Lake Highlands

This month, I've been working on a trio of paintings for Mallory at Positively Fit Lake Highlands.  She has a wonderful workout studio in her garage and was interested in getting some art on the walls.  She gave me three words and a color scheme.  The rest, she said, was up to me.

I've just finished the paintings and thought you might enjoy seeing them here at Smaller Sarah.  Thank you Mallory for trusting me with this wonderful project. I hope that all the boot campers, yogis and clients that pass through your studio enjoy the new view!

Check In - Week 69

I remember once reading a passage written by the Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thích Nhất Hạnh where he talks about the earthly life as a tumultuous sea. We're on a rocky ocean and meditation and reflection allow us to calm the waters. When we're able to quiet the frothy sea, it becomes glassy and clear. Then, you can see what lies beneath the surface. And sometimes what lies below is not a coral reef or a calm swaying forest of seaweed but a shipwreck.

This week has given me the gift of quiet time. The stormy sea is settling and I can now peer into the scene below preserved by saltwater. I'm seeing the 300 pound woman that I was suspended in the depths. I'm seeing Charlie's once healthy and in-tact brain water-logged and tied to the wreckage.  Achieving clarity is tough.

But then, I draw my gaze from the sea below and look around the deck of the ship and realize that everything worth saving is above water.  We're all here, breathing free air, lighter, fresher and more connected than we've ever been. Some of the life I'm leading is here by divine grace and some of it is here because I dragged it out of the wreckage, towed it to the surface and hauled it's dead weight onto the decks. Today I'm grateful for what remains.

The "I Did It" List

I attended 3 boot camp classes at PFLH

I've been seeing a chiropractor to assist with my bent-out-of-shape body
I bought my first pair of jeans in over a year!

Jack and I went on a double date with some neighbors

I went out with some friends for a drink - all of whom have kiddos with special needs

I painted

...and I opened a shop to sell my paintings (see it HERE)